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[05 Dec 2009|02:06am] |
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I should update.
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[04 Feb 2008|08:51pm] |
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Shit, dogs!
Looks like: Nick Noble. We had better just get our shit together and have a nice little table outside at LCC during the spring and we can yell all about our books that will shit people's minds. I'll get to working on a large sign telling all how they will wind up in hell hanging out with Satan. They love that.
Also: The world is very small.
And: I have shit my mind.
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[03 Feb 2008|01:26am] |
So I was thinking, and it goes like this:
2010: Mali ...though I need some sort of French and I don't know (any).
Around 2010, before or after: Costa Rica. Spanish is easy.
2009: Either Ghana, Ireland, or whatever else happens.
*Summer: Possibly Morocco, Italy, England, Spain, France, etc. Though planning is (already) a horrendous problem.
March: Boston.
And eventually, with no date or plans:
*Renting a car and driving across South Africa.
China, and general Asian area shit.
Brazil.
*Iceland.
*Toronto.
When I was writing this in my head a few days ago it came out better than this. But some people are welcome to inquire as to what I am talking about. The * are for ones that people should be concerned with.
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[29 Jan 2008|10:39pm] |
"Myths and legends die hard in America. We love them for the extra dimension they provide, the illusion of near-infinite possibility to erase the narrow confines of most men's reality. Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of 'the rat race' is not yet final."
- Hunter S. Thompson
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| And When He Walked By I Kissed Him! |
[26 Jan 2008|11:01pm] |
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music |
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Jackson Browne |
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Today at work this song came on and I realized how fucking tits Jackson Browne is. Goddamn. I've had strange dreams lately too, so this was all the more amazing. Live it up!
It's been a long time since I watched these lights alone
I look around my life tonight and you are gone
I might have done something to keep you if I'd known
How unhappy you had become
While I was dreaming of you
With my heart in your hands
And I was following though
With my beautiful plans
Yeah now I'm rolling down this canyon drive
With your laughter in my head
I'm gonna have to block it out somehow to survive
cause those dreams are dead
And I'm alive
I want to go where I will never hear your name
I want to lose my sorrow and be free again
And I know I've been insane
When I think of places I could have been
But I was dreaming of you
With my heart in your hands
And I was following through
With my beautiful plans
Standing here by the highway side
Watching these trucks blow by
Inches from my face
Yeah thinking bout the time Ive wasted
And the pleasure we once tasted
Looking up and down this road
I've been here before
Can't be here no more
Yeah now I'm rolling down California five
With your laughter in my head
I'm gonna have to block it out somehow to survive
cause those dreams are dead
And I'm alive
Hey look at the way I believed in you
And loved you all these years
Now you can fill a swimming pool with all my salty tears
If youd have told me what was in your heart
But baby you lied
I thought that it would kill me
But I'm alive
Yeah, I'm alive
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| So Just Think Of Me And Get Off Tonight |
[21 Jan 2008|01:40am] |
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And a couple hours ago I made a huge mistake by using the self-serve Keno machine and printed the same ticket four times. But then when I matched four of five numbers and won $18 on one ticket, I also did that on three others, making a grand total of $72. This was an expensive four days for me and what with free booze, discounts, lotto winnings and the like, I have managed to actually have more money than when I started. Sometimes not giving a fuck really works. Take chances. Life is bullshit and so am I.
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[18 Jan 2008|03:38pm] |
But looking at a receipt that says:
13 - washington apple -- $40
was probably the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
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| Everything You Could Ever Do Is Hilarious: |
[12 Jan 2008|10:48pm] |
Your home is where you're happy
It's not where you're not free
Your home is where you can be what you are
'Cause you were just born to be
Now they'll show you their castles
And diamonds for all to see
But they'll never show you their peace of mind
'Cause they don't know how to be free
So burn all your bridges
Leave your old life behind
You can do what you wanna do
'Cause you're strong in your mind
And anywhere you might wander
You can make that your home
And as long as you got love in your heart
You'll never be alone
Just as long as you got love in your heart
You'll never be alone
No no no
You'll never be alone
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| I Made This Long On Purpose To Weed Out The Skimmers: |
[09 Jan 2008|11:55pm] |
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Plans were to be wasted tonight. But I am not. But I saved money. These things happen. There are plenty of things that I never write. There are plenty of things that I never say. Hunter S. Thompson once noted that he could put around 600 people, including himself, in prison if he wrote all that he knew or had seen. This is similar to everyone, not that everyone knows as many felons has he did, but that there are some secrets that would destroy many things. Just then, as I typed that, I almost went into something like, "And let's take care of all that I know right now: ..." and just went into a list of things that no one should know. Ha. Damn. If only I had nothing to lose. But we all sit around and say nothing! Of all the mistakes I've made and watched others make, you think someone would start to learn something. But the joy of it is that there is nothing to learn.
And that is what you should have learned. There is nothing! How absurd! And how faith will ravage you, even as you watch the supporters of faith admitting that to have it you must be able to accept the absurdity and insanity of any (or all) of your propositions. How could such a deity deceive you? Ah... if only we could get past ontologies.
Pour out your heart and it still doesn't matter. But there's no reason not to.
In reading over the first 13 or 14 days of last year's (2007's) flushings I have been astounded by what I've seen. Where did I come up with these things? And the good news is: I've been crazy the whole time! And pissed, and depressed, and uncertain, and that's all I could ever ask for. I'm right on track. There is nothing to be sad about, since everything requires a certain amount of sadness and objectivity. What's the word I'm thinking here... uninvolved. But you never will look at your life as though you have nothing to do with it, and we're all pissed by that fact, so we look at everyone else's lives and tell ourselves what they should be doing. What would make them happier or how they could be a better person. Projection. Vicarious living. Wasted time. Know you're a terrible person.
Let's all say it. I'm a terrible person. Go. Do you disagree with me? Do I need to make the list? Everyone that could be reading this right now is a terrible person. I am not excluded from this list. But this is all we can do! There is nothing wrong with it anymore. Everyone is similar. Do you remember when your kindergarten teacher (or even college professor) told you that you were special? Then they'd tell another, and another, and then would eventually bust out the "everyone's special" shit. That is impossible. If everyone is special then no one is. Just like everyone is terrible, so no one is. The only reason I have any dirt on any of you is because I see you, talk to you, and do terrible things with you sometimes.
But, we all want change. Any entry you read is about change. Or porno. Or moving away. Or jobs. Or money. Or nostalgia. Let's quit quitting and start starting. You can easily say, "I'm going to change" and still change nothing. It is not until you have done so and look back and say "I have changed" that it means anything at all. Show something before you claim it. Let's all be shell fish. Selfish?
You can only do what you do. So do it. "Always push the envelope as far as you possibly can, and it will either be really crazy or hilarious." A good enough way to live life. Readers alike, you all get one chance, but it doesn't matter which way you go. You could do this or that, and in the end it won't matter anyway. Go with it. Oh, and
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[08 Jan 2008|09:05pm] |
This is my love song... It goes like this (a few excerpts):
...We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guinness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches...
...17 years later I'm as rude as JUDE
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want...
...Gettin' sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I've got stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you...
...That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna...
...It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't...
...But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew...
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[04 Jan 2008|11:38am] |
CDs:
$1:
Har Mar Superstar - "You Can Feel Me"
Counting Crows - "This Desert Life"
Primus - "Pork Soda"
The Bloodhound Gang - "Hooray For Boobies"
Korn - "Issues"
System Of A Down - "Toxicity"
$2:
Team America World Police soundtrack
Tenacious D in The Pick Of Destiny soundtrack
Bad Religion - "The Process of Belief"
Rise Against - "The Unraveling"
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters Colon The Soundtrack
More to come later. Let's get rid of these first. Hopefully...
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| Yo, This Is A Lesson In Friendship... |
[01 Jan 2008|04:43am] |
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I thought I fixed my sleep, even though it didn't really work and now it's 4:43am and I know I'll stay up too late. I'm experiencing a bit of a drunk leftovers, if you will, so I would like to wait for that to go away before I decide to sleep. But then I will have the same problem again the next week, and my mind and sleep will never work out a system together. They just don't get along, and should never date. Casual fucking is okay though.
I have come to the conclusion that the world is fucked up. It's not even so much that I'm going crazy anymore, but that I realized I SHOULD go crazy, since none of the bullshit of the world makes sense. Though, it's a great time.
No Bar Tour in '08. Not sure it's possible since I have some plans to go to bars already in a couple months, but still possible to cut back like whoa. I actually have not went to the bar since... well, yesterday, but my mom bought me one beer and I didn't go to the bar before that since the day after Christmas. And I honestly don't remember before that. At least a week. So, I feel good, and have actually saved some money. (That is the plan, how crazy!)
Well, to the four people that still read livejournal: happy new year. Happy new shit, whatever it may be. Too many will continue to repeat the past mistakes and too many will continue to... ha. No, I shouldn't even say that.
Drama is loved by all. I have bridges to burn but choose not to do so tonight. I'll touch dicks instead.
Fuck school and life and whatever else. Nervous doesn't begin to describe it, and it's over nothing. And some things. So I guess I'm... ha. Man! A public journal! Who thought of this?
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| You'll Never Eat Me Alive |
[26 Dec 2007|07:04am] |
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A little more than twelve hours ago (6:15pm) I got out of bed. It was an interesting fiasco as this girl was unhooking the cable from my TV as I laid in bed and refused to get up. How embarrassing. Then I took a shower and went downstairs and had breakfast. This was my breakfast.
Also, DVD list update:
Pulp Fiction
The Big Lebowski
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Batman (with Adam West)
The Crow
...and I think some softcore Jenna Jameson porn.
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| You Might Start Believing What They're Saying About... |
[24 Dec 2007|05:13am] |
DVDs that I must rid myself of:
Zoolander
Snatch
Tenacious D The Complete Masterworks
Pete And Pete Season 1
Pete And Pete Season 2
The Simpsons Season 1
The Simpsons Season 2
The Simpsons Season 3
Little Monsters
This is just a little for right now. Let me know if you are interested.
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| Do Me A Favour, Break My Nose |
[19 Dec 2007|11:38pm] |
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mood |
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productive |
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music |
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PussyCatz N Muffinz |
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One time I dated some bitch and her roommate and I had a conversation that went as follows:
Roommate: You know how people have their own little quirks and everything?
Me: Yeah.
Roommate: Well you have enough for, like, four people.
I am thinking that's possible, but since I find everything I do to be normal (at least to me) and figure everyone knows I'm joking about shit, I really don't know what quirks I have. I am all ears, and you are my help.
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[18 Dec 2007|05:50pm] |
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music |
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to your ears. |
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It's times like these that make me think how unfortunate it is that I DIDN'T waste my time doing surveys back in the day, since I could now have a nice four-year comparison, but oh well. It would still tell you I am gay. And upset and hating life and drinking too much. Whatever.
A lot of things in the world bother me. I can't really seem to change any of them, and I don't think that anyone would listen or care if I had the means to show them new things, if I somehow got a brain to work and be brilliant or whatever. My mom mentioned being "gainfully employed" by the time I am 25 and I said, "yeah right". I'll probably still live here. I'll probably still be doing a bunch of dumb bullshit.
Yeah, you know what? That Good Charlotte song is good. I can't even lie. It's terrible, of course, but also good. There are parts in the song that are terribly the WRONG way to live life, but the chorus knows what's up. Somehow.
But now it's time to rehash the past and play all those solitary mind games. Let's all cry about what is happening and do nothing to change it. Fear is a dangerous thing! How terrilbe that it will force all too many to waste away their lives. That favorite quote of mine that I've been telling everyone and not living by myself lately: "Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?"
Dicks and shit.
Life is a joke, and I have a t-shirt to prove it. Just a worthless memory. Like all the others. The sunset is fake, how much time did I waste?
About to hit up a movie around 8 if anyone wants to hold my hand during the scary parts. That's only in the fake movie world, though. I have that thing where I could cry during the introduction to a movie or even the credits and somehow feel nothing about my own life.
Well, just do it so I'll be mad, you'll be gone.
Oh, and I have a ton of shit that is only holding me down, so if anyone wants to get some free (or SUPER cheap) CDs and/or DVDs and/or books and/or anything, let me know. I will also accept food, drinks, or kisses.
It only gets weirder from here.
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| All Good Things |
[10 Dec 2007|12:32am] |
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mood |
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ditzy |
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music |
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Mandy Moore |
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I hope to use this soon, metaphorically (!). Be sure to note the metaphorically part, and think DEEP(ugh) and HARD(ooh) about IT.
Nabbefeld, Kyle Matthew
Holt, MI
Age __, was taken unexpectedly from his family and friends on ________________ by (A, see instructions below). He was born on March 6, 1986 in Lansing to Keith and Faith (Zalewski). Kyle loved heroin and cocaine. Generally he enjoyed them together, though sometimes he would add intoxicated sex to the mix to create a euphoric experience for both he and his partner. He really was a caring soul and he showed it to all that were lucky enough to have known him. He was a (B, consult list underneath letter A). Everyone (C) Kyle and he will (D) truly missed. Survived by (E, see below). Funeral services will be celebrated at 3:04 a.m. on _______________ at (F) with the people of his (G) as apposed to any Reverend, Minister, Rabbi or other religious affiliate (H). Interment will follow in ___________ Cemetery. The family will receive visitors at any time throughout the week preceding the funeral. In lieu of flowers, you can all go fuck yourselves.
(Blank space should be filled in accordingly, with the missing information as true as possible. Below are the specific spots that are far beyond a simple date.)
A: Should the death be boring and embarrassing, any of the following will be acceptable to fill the place: a gunshot wound to the face, herniated disc leading to traumatically increased rate of osteoporosis, halitosis, bathtub drowning, necessary government silencing, an adult breast feeding accidental overdose, a bolt of lighting, a malfunction with his parachute, a rabid shark attack, lead poisoning, or first target in the "weeding out of the freak population". Should anything really happen that is just too hilarious to not list, use the truth instead. Irony is also acceptable.
B: huge asshole, blessing in disguise, hard worker, slacker, bastard-twat, granny fister, two-timing slut, trans-gender individual, cocksucker, crazy bastard, or any other description you see fit.
C: hated, loved, loathed, despised, feared, felt awkward around, laughed at, disapproved of, had trouble understanding, has wished for this day to come to, had fun with, respected, or anything else that anyone may see fit to place in this area.
D: be/not be
E: List those that survived, obviously, with hopefully extremely hilarious relations such as: drug dealer, smuggling partner, gay confidant, co-worker (this would be a random person that barely even knew me and would be shocked to see their name mentioned), mistress, the brains of the operation, or shit kicker. Any would do and creative suggestions are welcome.
F: Wherever it is held. Preferably an elementary school gymnasium or cafeteria during the November elections. Any woodland area would also be acceptable, as would a chiropractor's office or an isle of a grocery store.
G: family, cult, society, brotherhood, crack team of round-the-clock therapists, friends, ex-wives, long lost boyfriends, or anyone that has been in his life or was in any way effected by him being alive.
H: unless through Satanism or the occult. (He was a fag like that, so I wouldn't be surprised.)
Some of it may need to be updated, and feel free to add in stuff or give me some suggestions. Metaphorically (!) or otherwise. It has been brought to my mind that "changing" or something is important. 'n The fuck would I know? So I just figured I would review this. Some of you have already seen it, and that's fine. I don't wanna move on, I just keep reliving. Ah, change from the man who preaches and avoids it at all costs.
Quick! Everyone! Tell me what you look like naked!
A small EDIT: The part in section A discussing a gunshot wound to the face could be when I was shot by police at a Super 8 for holding my girlfriend hostage even when I really wasn't. Also, lead poisoning could be from that magic elixer I'm working on. See The Tao of Kyle photo, soon to come. (Though none of you would know if it worked out for immortality or not. Then there would be no need for an obituary. Ah, the connections!)
Also, dick tastes good.
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| If You Are My Friend Then You'll Know What This Means... |
[10 Nov 2007|02:29am] |
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mood |
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A Wilhelm Scream |
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Hello, to my long forgotten friend(s)!
Dear A Wilhelm Scream: Thank you for existing...
Dear Tim Koch: Thank you for brewing Sam Adams...
No one likes to be happy with the good shit, do they? Come on! We're all just pushing a rock up a hill until it falls down again. Over and over. We have been cursed without asking for it. Sisyphus is the story of our lives.
And by the way, Fuck slugging through the bullshit to get to your goal. If your goal is shrouded in bullshit then your goal is bullshit. What could be so different about it? "I just need to do this before I can do this." No. You should not live your life in a hypothetical syllogism.
Oh, and a life is just a novel that you're writing. And why would you want to read a novel if you already know how it's going to end withing the first chapter? Change it. Surprise yourself. Write yourself into a new character.
This would be more poetic if my brain were working.
And I have been sneezing snot across my own lips. I have more to say but no one has even read this far.
"And I wake up and think, danget, who's seen this already?"
At least I look like I like to party.
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